'Tis the season for separated parents to discuss Christmas child arrangements

Whilst Christmas might still feel far away, now is the ideal time to give some thought as to how you might manage arrangements with your ex-partner in relation to where and when your child(ren) will be at Christmas. It can be stressful for separated parents to come to an agreement, although the earlier consideration is given to this, the more time it allows for meaningful discussion and hopefully a resolution.

Where should we start?

If appropriate, i.e. there is a safe open space for direct discussion, the best starting point would be to talk with the co-parent. Ask what their thoughts are in relation to Christmas and how they want to spend the time with your child(ren).

If you do not feel able to have a safe direct conversation with your co-parent, perhaps see if it is possible to discuss via a third party, or a family member.

How should I approach the conversation?

It is best to approach these conversations with an element of flexibility. After all, both parents will want to spend time with their own child(ren) at Christmas, and in addition with the wider family. It is important to recognise that children are the most important consideration, and their best interests are what a Court would be most concerned with.

What would typical Christmas arrangements look like?

It is common for parents to agree to alternate Christmas Eve and Christmas Day each year, i.e. your child(ren) spend Christmas Eve overnight with you this year, thereafter, spending time with their other parent on Christmas Day overnight to Boxing Day. This pattern would alternate each year. The exact time split can be agreed at convenient times, whether that be in the morning or afternoon of Christmas Day.

Of course, different arrangements will suit different families, depending on their individual circumstances. For example, consideration will need to be given to the ages of your child(ren), their wishes and feelings and the distance between yours and your co-parent’s respective homes.

What happens if we simply cannot agree?

If no resolution is found, consideration should be given to the use of mediation, the involvement of solicitor-led negotiation or other non-court dispute resolution options such as arbitration or collaborative law process. An application to Court for a Child Arrangements Order is the last resort but nonetheless an option in the absence of an agreement. There are many disadvantages with going to Court, including the cost, delay and the risk that the Court may impose an Order that you do not agree with. Therefore, it is always in your best interests, and those of your child(ren) to agree matters where possible and try to work together.

The Ministry of Justice is still running a voucher scheme which will provide a contribution of up to £500 towards the costs for mediation involving child arrangements. In addition, some mediation services accept legal aid to help cover the costs for mediation, if you are financially eligible. You may be eligible if you are on a low income or not working but for any queries regarding this you can contact a local mediation service who offer legal aid.

If you require any advice regarding arrangements for children, please get in touch with the Family Team today and we would be more than happy to discuss your requirements further. Please call us at our office in Leicester on 0116 255 4855 or our office in Loughborough on 01509 610 312 and ask to speak to a member of the Family Team. Alternatively, you may prefer to email us at legal@johnsonastills.com or fill in our enquiry form.