Navigating divorces and child arrangements over the Christmas period:

Going through a divorce and organising child arrangements with an ex-partner can be very stressful.  However, with the festive period approaching, this stress can be exacerbated and causing this to become a very worrying time. Below are some tips to help with organising child arrangements over Christmas, and how to navigate a divorce during this time.

Child Arrangements

Agreeing child arrangements over the Christmas period can be difficult for separating and separated parents.   It is likely both parents will want to spend time with their child(ren) during Christmas and New Year, particularly on Christmas Day and New Year’s Eve. Conversations regarding child arrangements can often go awry and lead to arguments.

Top tips for organising child arrangements over Christmas:

Start conversations early: Doing this reduces pressure. Having an increased amount of time between discussions starting, and an agreement needing to be made allows multiple conversations to be had, and for each party to go away and think about each conversation. This will likely result in both parents being calmer during conversations, which enhances the likelihood of an agreement being reached. Unless there is a significant reason you cannot have a direct conversation with your child(ren)’s other parent, discussions should only involve the two of you.

Be flexible and fair: Entering discussions with flexibility is extremely important. If parents enter conversations with the mindset that an agreement in their favour is the only thing they will be satisfied with, it is extremely unlikely that an agreement will be reached. A fair arrangement for both parents would be an alternating year plan. For example, if you spend Christmas day with your child(ren) this year, your child(ren)’s other parent spends it with them next year.

Stay on topic: Put your child(ren) at the forefront of your mind during all discussions. If your child(ren) is/are old enough to express their wishes and feelings, listen to these. However, if they are not, try to put yourself in their shoes and think about what would make them the happiest over the Christmas period. Remember, what is in the best interests of your child(ren) must come first, with what you or your child(ren)’s other parent wanting to happen coming second. Discussions regarding arrangements for your child(ren) to spend time with both parents over the festive period should not be used as an excuse to bring up other issues or disagreements.

Ask for help if you need it: Despite all efforts to keep conversations friendly and to decide a plan for child arrangements over Christmas, sometimes an agreed decision just can’t be reached. If this is the case, don’t worry, there are other steps you can take. There are options such as solicitor’s advice and negotiation with the other parent, mediation or an application to Court for a Child Arrangements Order. Whatever you choose to do, Johnson Astill’s Family Team are here to help.

Divorce

Christmas is often associated with family time and joy. However, if you are going through a divorce, it is likely you won’t be feeling overly joyous, and you may be feeling isolated and worried about the future. The Family Team at Johnson Astill’s understand these feelings and are available if you would like support and/or advice from one of our solicitors during this difficult time.

If you and your spouse have children together, the above section on Child Arrangements over Christmas may be useful:

Top tips on navigating a divorce over Christmas:

Remember it is now ‘no fault divorce’ : The new law  came into force in 2022 and has helped many couples navigate their divorce amicably, as there is no need to place the blame on each other. Therefore, you should try to keep things civil between you and your spouse, rather than try to put blame on someone or something. Remaining amicable will benefit you, your family and friends, which is important, especially over Christmas.

Tell your friends and family: You may think your friends and family would prefer it if you waited until after Christmas to inform them you are getting a divorce, or to ask for support. However, this is often not the case. You need support during this time, and friends and family would, no doubt, rather you lean on them than struggle alone.

Plan in advance how you are going to spend your Christmas: Are you going to spend important days with your spouse? Alone? With family and friends? Whatever you choose to do, make plans in advance. This will give you the opportunity to be comfortable with your decision, rather than having to choose what to do last minute and not being happy with the decision.

Reach out if you need help/advice: Here at Johnson Astills, we understand that external support and/or advice is needed during a divorce especially during the Christmas period. If you need support or advice, or simply some questions answered by a solicitor, please contact our Family Team. Getting legal help/advice before Christmas will allow you to feel more relaxed over the festive period, as it will allow you to have a better understanding of the process of divorce, and your questions will have been answered.

Please get in touch with Johnson Astills today and we would be more than happy to discuss your requirements further. Please call us at our office in Leicester on 0116 255 4855 or our office in Loughborough on 01509 610 312 and ask to speak to a member of the Family Team. Alternatively, you may prefer to email us at legal@johnsonastills.com or fill in our enquiry form.